A Child Within
Wanting to expand your family and not being able to can cause a multitude of challenges for any family. My husband and I already had two grown children but desperately sought a third child to love and hold.
It didn't seem that hard of a choice to want another child, we could just have one. We never planned on the complications to be an option. After a period of time had gone by and we were still left wanting, we began a journey neither of us could have foreseen.
The first of many obstacles began with a diagnosis of abnormal pap smears that later proved to be precancerous cells. This was by far the simplest of fixes and posed little concern. When we still faced dim results, we had laparoscopic exploratory surgery which allowed the doctors to go in and take a look around as nothing seemed out of place anywhere else but I did experience heavy cycles and extreme abdominal pain. Once inside, it was found that I had endometriosis on both ovaries and well as on the side of the uterus where the tubes came in, cysts as well as a tilted uterus.
With all that fixed to be the of doctors abilities, we began our journey again. Knowing that now we would definitely have to undergo invitro-fertilization, our true journey and heartache would begin. Everything seemed to be perfect conditions for us to conceive on the first try. However, after cancelling two cycles half way through due to low egg counts, we were able to get a decent middle ground with the medications and followed through with a cycle. I can't explain the joy and anticipation that we would experience each time we went through this and each time, we lost it all within weeks. The fourth try held out the longest but failed to hold into the second month. We decided on one last try; just to say we did our best. We held onto to the pregnancy into the first and half way through the second month before severe problems threatened our success. On lab tests, my HCG levels were rapidly declining and I had to immediately be put on shots to mimic the hormones naturally produced in pregnant women. It was really a fifty- fifty shot at holding on to our pregnancy, and going forth with the knowledge that we could not miss a shot.
After almost nine months, we delivered a happy, healthy and smiling baby girl. As amazing as it was, we needed over a year to come down from the worry and need to keep her in our sights at all time. The process had taken an extreme emotional toll on our lives but loved lived on.
