After having my first child, my husband and I hadn't fathomed the thought of trying to get pregnant once more. So after having considered it a year after having our daughter, we decided to try again. With both of us being healthy adults in our mid-20s, we expected instant success in having a second child. But it did not come as easy as we had both assumed.
I had decided it was time to check in with my obstetrician who had diagnosed the secondary infertility, the inability to get pregnant after having given birth one or more times. That was then that I was told that it was a problem not uncommon to many women. But I didn't think that infertility happened to couples who had already had kids?
But it was a devastating truth that many women have to experience and face the emotional struggle that can take its toll on even the strongest dads.
According to RESOLVE, the national infertility association, more than half of all infertility cases are in fact secondary infertility cases.
It considered for a couple to be infertile when they can't conceive after one year of unprotected sex. And although these statistics exist, many ob-gyns will offer a more patient approach with patients who do in fact already have a child.
We were lucky in that we were healthy and young enough to continue trying. The struggle however was intense. While there are no set in stone figures, most cases of secondary infertility stem for the female instead of the male, which was a really hard fact for me to swallow.
Like any couple who faces the fact they may not have another child, we were in need of empathy and validation that it could happen from friends and family. There is not time limit to grieving, which was another part of the acceptation. The acceptance was not something I was willing to intake however.
We accepted the changes that needed to be made as we were willing to do anything that would help us conceive. Some changes we acted on religiously were quiting smoking, cutting back on the caffeine and keeping our bodies fit. We felt that if nothing else worked, an expensive but treatment that could be done would be egg donation. This however would have been a last resort.
When my daughter was three we had an annual visit to my doctor and to our surprise, he told us that we would be expecting a positive pregnancy test. This was completely unexpected and a very joyous time! Needless to say, he was right. Stress had also been a factor in the infertility and once we had completely just let go of the stress and began to take care of ourselves we found ourselves parents once more.
Of course this is not the case for all couples. However the possibilities are endless with fertility. However should you be facing the dreadful fears of not being able to conceive once more as we were, understand that there are possibilities and the journey has already began.
I had decided it was time to check in with my obstetrician who had diagnosed the secondary infertility, the inability to get pregnant after having given birth one or more times. That was then that I was told that it was a problem not uncommon to many women. But I didn't think that infertility happened to couples who had already had kids?
But it was a devastating truth that many women have to experience and face the emotional struggle that can take its toll on even the strongest dads.
According to RESOLVE, the national infertility association, more than half of all infertility cases are in fact secondary infertility cases.
It considered for a couple to be infertile when they can't conceive after one year of unprotected sex. And although these statistics exist, many ob-gyns will offer a more patient approach with patients who do in fact already have a child.
We were lucky in that we were healthy and young enough to continue trying. The struggle however was intense. While there are no set in stone figures, most cases of secondary infertility stem for the female instead of the male, which was a really hard fact for me to swallow.
Like any couple who faces the fact they may not have another child, we were in need of empathy and validation that it could happen from friends and family. There is not time limit to grieving, which was another part of the acceptation. The acceptance was not something I was willing to intake however.
We accepted the changes that needed to be made as we were willing to do anything that would help us conceive. Some changes we acted on religiously were quiting smoking, cutting back on the caffeine and keeping our bodies fit. We felt that if nothing else worked, an expensive but treatment that could be done would be egg donation. This however would have been a last resort.
When my daughter was three we had an annual visit to my doctor and to our surprise, he told us that we would be expecting a positive pregnancy test. This was completely unexpected and a very joyous time! Needless to say, he was right. Stress had also been a factor in the infertility and once we had completely just let go of the stress and began to take care of ourselves we found ourselves parents once more.
Of course this is not the case for all couples. However the possibilities are endless with fertility. However should you be facing the dreadful fears of not being able to conceive once more as we were, understand that there are possibilities and the journey has already began.
