Move Fearlessly into the Future
Expectant mothers have some of the most bizarre dreams imaginable. Unfortunately, along with the wet dreams about Brad Pitt, bad dreams come as well. Almost all pregnant women have a nightmare at some point during their pregnancy. A lot of these dreams will be caused by fears she has related to the pregnancy. Interpreting these dreams to understand these fears, then confronting them, is not only a great way to banish these nightmares -- but also to make sure you are totally prepared for motherhood.
One of the most common themes in bad pregnancy dreams is fetal defects. Most women, especially first-time mothers, have dreams about their babies being born disfigured or with some terrible deformity. Try to put your mind at ease. Fetal defects are quite rare, even more so for some than others. Do some research about fetal defects, how common they are, who is at risk, and most importantly how treatable they are. The information out there is usually very reassuring.
The second most common nightmare is about something going wrong with the pregnancy. This includes miscarriage, placenta problems, premature delivery, and even stillbirth. As with defects, you can reassure yourself by looking into how common these things are, what your risk is, and how to treat or prevent them. If you're at risk, take preventative methods. Educating yourself is the best way to eliminate your fears. Remember that most pregnancies are completely uneventful.
You may also have dreams about the birth. Once again, you may see something terrible happening. Maybe you or the baby dies during childbirth. Maybe the umbilical cord is around the child's neck Whatever it is bad that happens, do some research. Ask your doctor about it. Remember that only 1 in every 10,000 women die in childbirth in America. Also, the umbilical cord is around the neck 30% of the time and usually just needs to be unwrapped! A lot of times, you will find you are worrying about something that is really no big deal.
Your dreams may be about motherhood. You may have a dream where you hurt, abandon, or lose the baby. This is especially true in first-time mothers who haven't had a chance to develop confidence or who became pregnant suddenly. You have a maternal instinct, and you'll feel it even when you're giving birth. You are going to be a wonderful mother. You can build confidence by spending time with other mothers and talking about these fears, reading about different parenting approaches, and doing research now so that you can feel comfortable with your decisions.
Nightmares can also be about love, specifically a lack thereof. In a dream, you may not love your baby. He may not love you. It is very rare for that to happen. You will love your child with your whole heart, and he will love you. Even if he screams "I hate you" in a fit of fury, he doesn't mean it. Read birth stories. Talk to mothers of babies. Spend some time with a baby. You'll see how strongly those mothers love their little ones. You'll see that babies are nothing but pure, concentrated love.
Some dreams are easy to interpret. For example, maybe you have a dream where you can't even change a diaper. Learn! If you have a dream about your partner not supporting you, maybe you have some subconscious doubts about your relationship. It is important to address these before the baby is born. Some women have bad dreams that they interpret to be related to not yet being married to the father, a feeling that things are happening backwards and that stability is lacking. The solution is to get married. Couples have done this even in the birthing room!
I remember during my first pregnancy, I had several pregnancy-related dreams. I wasn't afraid of birth defects, because I was so young and not at risk. My dreams weren't about things going wrong but about the way people reacted to different things. They were also tell-tale signs of my insecurities about my abilities as a mother.
I did have a dream where the baby came out prematurely at home. I was afraid I would be scolded in the hospital for giving birth so early, but the baby was actually perfect! I thought "Should I put it back in?!" Hah! Now that may seem like I was afraid of giving birth too soon, but it wasn't. The truth is that it was a manifestation of my feelings about how my prenatal care providers treated me. They often scolded me for silly things like not wanting to take the classes, which I felt were unnecessary. I was treated like I was a naïve, ignorant child.
In another dream of mine, I was at a party, and I kept leaving the baby--forgetting him. Then I would search for him frantically and finally find him okay. I knew that I lacked confidence about my mothering skills. I was only 19. I didn't know what to do about it. I retained these fears right up through labor! I was still worrying as I had contractions. I had wanted him so bad but suddenly, I didn't feel ready! That changed when they placed him in my arms. I knew instantly that I would fight fiercely for him.
With this pregnancy, I have had only one nightmare. It was completely unrealistic, of course, but terrifying. I dreamed that after some light spotting, blood trickled into my panties. I then felt my placenta trying to come out through my cervix! (This would never happen. Your cervix is too closed until late labor for this to happen, and it would take contractions to open it.) I knew that placenta previa meant that I must have a C-section. I knew if the placenta came out, the baby would have no oxygen and could die. I called my husband at work but couldn't reach him. I called 911 three times, and they wouldn't dispatch an ambulance! They thought I was prank-calling them! My stepmother and father, who live in another state, were suddenly there, and I told them that we had to go to the ER. They began taking their time packing, thinking I was just in labor and that we had time. I couldn't explain to them what an emergency this was. Finally, I decided to just drive myself, and that's when they realized the seriousness. I got to the hospital and was admitted, and everything was going to be okay. Nevertheless the nurse was acting suspicious, but nice, and my father was sitting there with a displeased look as if he wanted to lecture me.
I am having an unassisted pregnancy and planning an unassisted childbirth. You'd think this dream would be about a fear of placenta previa. It wasn't. My placenta is actually at the top left of my uterus, nowhere near my cervix! I know it's not an issue. I would, however, be extremely disappointed if I had to have a C-section. With all I've learned about them, I am afraid of them. In the dream I almost wanted to cry about having to have a scheduled C-section. I will consent if I must to save my baby's life, but I would not be happy about it. Moreover, I am afraid that if something does go wrong, either people won't help me or will be mean to me for my choice. I know if something goes wrong, the medics are capable of treating it. However, I have heard stories of women being treated most awfully after transferring from homebirths. I am also afraid of being blamed for anything that goes wrong and of lectures from family, strangers, etc.--even over things that couldn't have been foreseen or prevented. I obviously need to develop my faith in the medical community.
Interpreting your bad dreams may not always be easy, but it is worth it to do so. Remember that things are not always what they seem. You must reflect carefully to truly understand the root. Only when you confront your fears will you get rid of your nightmares. Doing so will allow you to move fearless into the future, embracing birth and motherhood with open arms. Don't let your fears hold you back. Don't let your dreams scare you. Let them lead you to better self-understanding, so that you can prepare yourself even more adequately for the journey of motherhood.
One of the most common themes in bad pregnancy dreams is fetal defects. Most women, especially first-time mothers, have dreams about their babies being born disfigured or with some terrible deformity. Try to put your mind at ease. Fetal defects are quite rare, even more so for some than others. Do some research about fetal defects, how common they are, who is at risk, and most importantly how treatable they are. The information out there is usually very reassuring.
The second most common nightmare is about something going wrong with the pregnancy. This includes miscarriage, placenta problems, premature delivery, and even stillbirth. As with defects, you can reassure yourself by looking into how common these things are, what your risk is, and how to treat or prevent them. If you're at risk, take preventative methods. Educating yourself is the best way to eliminate your fears. Remember that most pregnancies are completely uneventful.
You may also have dreams about the birth. Once again, you may see something terrible happening. Maybe you or the baby dies during childbirth. Maybe the umbilical cord is around the child's neck Whatever it is bad that happens, do some research. Ask your doctor about it. Remember that only 1 in every 10,000 women die in childbirth in America. Also, the umbilical cord is around the neck 30% of the time and usually just needs to be unwrapped! A lot of times, you will find you are worrying about something that is really no big deal.
Your dreams may be about motherhood. You may have a dream where you hurt, abandon, or lose the baby. This is especially true in first-time mothers who haven't had a chance to develop confidence or who became pregnant suddenly. You have a maternal instinct, and you'll feel it even when you're giving birth. You are going to be a wonderful mother. You can build confidence by spending time with other mothers and talking about these fears, reading about different parenting approaches, and doing research now so that you can feel comfortable with your decisions.
Nightmares can also be about love, specifically a lack thereof. In a dream, you may not love your baby. He may not love you. It is very rare for that to happen. You will love your child with your whole heart, and he will love you. Even if he screams "I hate you" in a fit of fury, he doesn't mean it. Read birth stories. Talk to mothers of babies. Spend some time with a baby. You'll see how strongly those mothers love their little ones. You'll see that babies are nothing but pure, concentrated love.
Some dreams are easy to interpret. For example, maybe you have a dream where you can't even change a diaper. Learn! If you have a dream about your partner not supporting you, maybe you have some subconscious doubts about your relationship. It is important to address these before the baby is born. Some women have bad dreams that they interpret to be related to not yet being married to the father, a feeling that things are happening backwards and that stability is lacking. The solution is to get married. Couples have done this even in the birthing room!
I remember during my first pregnancy, I had several pregnancy-related dreams. I wasn't afraid of birth defects, because I was so young and not at risk. My dreams weren't about things going wrong but about the way people reacted to different things. They were also tell-tale signs of my insecurities about my abilities as a mother.
I did have a dream where the baby came out prematurely at home. I was afraid I would be scolded in the hospital for giving birth so early, but the baby was actually perfect! I thought "Should I put it back in?!" Hah! Now that may seem like I was afraid of giving birth too soon, but it wasn't. The truth is that it was a manifestation of my feelings about how my prenatal care providers treated me. They often scolded me for silly things like not wanting to take the classes, which I felt were unnecessary. I was treated like I was a naïve, ignorant child.
In another dream of mine, I was at a party, and I kept leaving the baby--forgetting him. Then I would search for him frantically and finally find him okay. I knew that I lacked confidence about my mothering skills. I was only 19. I didn't know what to do about it. I retained these fears right up through labor! I was still worrying as I had contractions. I had wanted him so bad but suddenly, I didn't feel ready! That changed when they placed him in my arms. I knew instantly that I would fight fiercely for him.
With this pregnancy, I have had only one nightmare. It was completely unrealistic, of course, but terrifying. I dreamed that after some light spotting, blood trickled into my panties. I then felt my placenta trying to come out through my cervix! (This would never happen. Your cervix is too closed until late labor for this to happen, and it would take contractions to open it.) I knew that placenta previa meant that I must have a C-section. I knew if the placenta came out, the baby would have no oxygen and could die. I called my husband at work but couldn't reach him. I called 911 three times, and they wouldn't dispatch an ambulance! They thought I was prank-calling them! My stepmother and father, who live in another state, were suddenly there, and I told them that we had to go to the ER. They began taking their time packing, thinking I was just in labor and that we had time. I couldn't explain to them what an emergency this was. Finally, I decided to just drive myself, and that's when they realized the seriousness. I got to the hospital and was admitted, and everything was going to be okay. Nevertheless the nurse was acting suspicious, but nice, and my father was sitting there with a displeased look as if he wanted to lecture me.
I am having an unassisted pregnancy and planning an unassisted childbirth. You'd think this dream would be about a fear of placenta previa. It wasn't. My placenta is actually at the top left of my uterus, nowhere near my cervix! I know it's not an issue. I would, however, be extremely disappointed if I had to have a C-section. With all I've learned about them, I am afraid of them. In the dream I almost wanted to cry about having to have a scheduled C-section. I will consent if I must to save my baby's life, but I would not be happy about it. Moreover, I am afraid that if something does go wrong, either people won't help me or will be mean to me for my choice. I know if something goes wrong, the medics are capable of treating it. However, I have heard stories of women being treated most awfully after transferring from homebirths. I am also afraid of being blamed for anything that goes wrong and of lectures from family, strangers, etc.--even over things that couldn't have been foreseen or prevented. I obviously need to develop my faith in the medical community.
Interpreting your bad dreams may not always be easy, but it is worth it to do so. Remember that things are not always what they seem. You must reflect carefully to truly understand the root. Only when you confront your fears will you get rid of your nightmares. Doing so will allow you to move fearless into the future, embracing birth and motherhood with open arms. Don't let your fears hold you back. Don't let your dreams scare you. Let them lead you to better self-understanding, so that you can prepare yourself even more adequately for the journey of motherhood.
