Major Health Concerns for Women After Menopause

Menopause Increases Risk of Some Health Concerns

Unfortunately, I had to undergo a radical hysterectomy when I was in my mid-thirties. Because of the loss of my ovaries, I began to go through menopause almost immediately after surgery - - at least it seemed that way from the hot flashes and night sweats I started having the very next week. My doctor prescribed HRT (hormone replacement therapy) for the menopause symptoms. She also gave me pamphlets to educate myself on the health risks associated with menopause. I found that there are several major and, possibly life threatening, health concerns associated with menopause.

1. Heart Disease

As a woman reaches the age of menopause (about fifty years old), her risk of developing heart disease, also known as cardiovascular disease, increases. This is because a woman's risk of heart disease increases with age and coincides with the onset of menopause. Furthermore, women who have undergone surgical menopause and who do not take estrogen are also at a higher risk for developing heart disease. Although there have been reports that taking estrogen will reduce the risk of heart disease in young women who have undergone surgical menopause, recent studies find that this may not be as accurate as once thought.

2. Osteoporosis

Menopause is characterized by the reduction and eventual loss of estrogen production within the ovaries. On the other hand, in my cause, surgical removal of the ovaries stops estrogen production dead in its tracks. The loss of estrogen actually increases the rate of bone loss; however, hormone replacement therapy has been shown to help protect bone mass. As a woman ages, it is important to make sure that calcium intake and/or calcium supplements are monitored to help prevent the development of osteoporosis. There are some medications on the market now, such as Boniva, Fosamax or Actonel, that claim to help prevent osteoporosis.

3. Depression

Women who have never experienced depression before are still at an increased risk of developing depression right before or during menopause. Of course, changes in hormones do play a role in this risk; however, the other dramatic changes that women experience during menopause also play a role in depression. Women are struggling with physical and emotional changes during perimenopause and menopause that can be difficult to handle thereby contributing to depression. Women should be aware of the symptoms of depression and report any of these to their physicians immediately.

4. Stoke

Some current studies have shown that women, who experience early menopause, before the age of 42, are at a greater risk of stroke. This would lead one to the assumption that the loss of estrogen could be linked to an increase risk of stroke. Although, some experts disagree with the findings it is still prudent for women entering menopause early to seek the advice of a physician specializing in this area.

5. Breast and uterine cancer

Older age is a risk factor for developing uterine cancer; therefore, women who have undergone menopause should be aware of their risk and be vigilant in taking steps to prevent uterine cancer such as yearly screenings and knowing the symptoms of uterine cancer. The average age of a uterine cancer patient is 60 years old with only 10% of uterine cancer patients being under the age of 40 at the time of diagnosis. Breast cancer risks also rise with age and there are studies that suggest that HRT (hormone replacement therapy) can affect the risks of breast cancer. Women who are near or past menopause should discuss all of their options with their physicians, including other risk factors for breast cancer, to determine what steps they should take to prevent or detect breast cancer.

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How to Deal With Your Loss After a Molar Pregnancy

A molar pregnancy (hydatidiform mole) diagnosis can be devastating. One day you are expecting a baby, and the next you are told that there is an abnormal growth in your uterus. Whether it is partial (a fetus has formed) or complete (there is no fetus), a molar pregnancy is never viable.

Between the dilation and curettage (D&C), blood tests, and clinic visits, it can feel like this will never end. On top of that, you are told that you need to avoid getting pregnant again for 12 months. How are you supposed to deal with your loss after a molar pregnancy?

Allow yourself to grieve in your own way

Everyone grieves a loss in their own way, and at their own pace. One person finds herself numb, while another goes from crying to disbelief. It might take you a few days, or even a few weeks, to sink in. However you grieve your loss, as long as you are not hurting yourself or someone else, it is not wrong.

Take some time to yourself and do the things you enjoy

Once you have allowed yourself to grieve, you will need to start moving on. Take time to yourself, even if it means taking a day or a week off from work. Do whatever it is that makes you feel better. Some like to pamper themselves with bubble baths, massages, and manicures, while others simply curl up with a pillow and a good book. Get out and hike, garden, or do whatever you enjoy.

Talk to someone you trust -- but only when you are ready

Only you can decide when you are ready to talk about what you have been through. Talking it out is good, but you don't have to share with everyone who asks. This is a very personal, and even painful, time in your life. Share your feelings with a friend or close family member when you are ready.

Be there for your partner and allow him to express his feelings

In many cases, there is another person who is going through the loss of a baby. Your partner was also expecting a baby that will never arrive, and he might be going through a range of emotions, too. Make a point to ask your partner how he is feeling, and even if he doesn't have much to say right now, listen and be there for him when he is ready.

Find ways to keep yourself busy over the next year

Think of ways to keep busy over the next year, whether it's planning a trip or working on a long-term project. Then do them. Before you know it, the year will have gone by and hopefully you can start planning for another baby, if that is your wish.

Speak with your doctor about visiting a grief counselor

If you experience long periods of depression or suicidal thoughts, call your doctor. Ask about visiting a grief counselor so you can move on with your life.

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Truth About Parenting

Pregnancy can be a wonderful thing for some, and for some, it can be slightly tiring and hard. It's a time where you finally realize just what a woman's body can really do. No textbooks can ever describe what it's really like. Especially if it's hard for someone to get pregnant. But parenthood is a whole different ballgame from pregnancy. It's an open door that leads to a lot of possibilities and exciting "first-time" moments. But it's also very hard to do, Especially if you are a single parent.

• Sleep: You'll hear the, "sleep when baby sleeps" or how you will probably never sleep again. You never understand this until you do actually have a child. For some, sleeping when the baby sleeps is hard, no matter how exhausted you may be. Babies require a lot of attention and it can be hard to get some time to yourself. So when the baby actually does go to sleep, you might start to think of a million things you need to get done before the baby awakes. Such as, do the dishes, wash clothes, take a shower, EAT! And maybe even work, if you are a stay-at-home parent, like myself. If you are the lucky ones, your baby will be content in the crib or in a comfy chair and will allow you to get some stuff done. Whatever one you get, just remember to breathe. It's frustrating now to only run on 2 hours of sleep, but it will pass.

• Annoyance: Let's get one thing straight, if you are a new parent, this is completely normal! Sometimes, parents will get so frustrating, that they'll feel annoyed by this little human being that's screaming and demanding to be held 24/7. It's normal and it's okay to feel this way. To wonder why you wanted to be a parent or why you even got pregnant in the first place. Parenthood is overwhelming and it takes time to get used to and familiar with. Now if you feel sad or depressed, it's probably best to talk to someone or your doctor about this. This could be "post-partum depression." Normal after you give birth, but sometimes it can drag on for too long and that's when you might need professional help.

• Unsolicited Advice: Being a first time mother, you are bond to run into those few people who will sit there and try to give you unwanted advice on how to raise your own child and what you need to do. Now some advice is much welcomed and very much needed, but then there are those advices where you feel like someone is concededly trying to hint at you that you aren't doing a very good job. There isn't much you can do about this, expect tell that person that while you do appreciate their advice, you would like it very much if they would stop being so pushy on you. Not wanting to hurt those you care for, feelings, can be frustrating and a little maddening. However you handle this, just remember, they don't do it out of annoyance, but out of love.

• Hormones: From personal experience, once your little one starts hitting the 5 month mark, you are going to go through so many emotions.Ranging from excitement, to sadness. But this is normal to look forward to your precious one growing, being excited for all the wonderful(and sometimes, irritating) milestones, while also feeling a sense of sadness that your little one is, indeed, growing up. And no matter how hard we may try as parents, our dear ones will continue to grow, even against our will, before our eyes. I cried a good bit of the first 7 months because whenever someone would mention how big my son was getting or how fast he was growing, it sent a wave of sadness throughout my body, because he wouldn't be my little infant, for much longer, -but now my toddler. Once he hit the one year mark, I expected to cry again, but I guess I had gotten it all out of my system beforehand, that I really didn't have many tears to spare at the time. And this is good, because I was able to enjoy my son's first birthday with true excitement in my heart for what the future held for us.

I'm not going to lie, parenthood is hard, it's frustrating, and it can be very maddening. But at the end of the night when you put your child down for bed, you are always reminded just why you wanted to do this in the first place and why you continue to do it every single day. I became a teen mom and was not physically prepared for what was to come. And after 4 months of crying because I couldn't get the baby to calm down and needing my mother's help at times, I surely didn't think there was ever going to be an end to all this maddening! But soon came the end to a lot of things and as I grew with my son, I became used to a lot of the stuff I wasn't. I can run on 4 hours of sleep and still have energy to keep going at the end of the night. Point being; it hard times will end. And when it does, you'll look back and wonder why you got so worked up over the little things.

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Trauma and Recovery

While most women who experience childbirth cannot call it a wonderful and easy experience, most can say it was tough but they got through it fine. For me, delivering my daughter was probably the most traumatic experience I ever had physically and emotionally. Most women would experience it as their worst nightmare. It was an experience that altered my life forever, and while I did get the wonderful benefits of having my daughter, I lost a great deal of my physical normalcy and my emotional well being.

During my delivery, I went through a harrowing night that nearly took my life followed by another night of near death. After being in labor for 13 1/2 hours and losing nearly half my body's blood due to hemorrhaging from a severe laceration, I was fragile and weak. I felt like my the very fiber of life was torn from me. The toll it took on my sense of self was significant. As I went through the following months post delivery, I was different in so many ways. First, I was in a significantly weakened physical and emotional state because of my delivery. But my mind was now different too. I came to the brink of the gates of heaven in those long darkened hours of bleeding post delivery. Laying alone and knowing I had a new life to be responsible for felt overwhelming. I was bleeding profusely and barely conscious. In those long night hours, death creeped and knocked at my body's doorstep a few times.

In the many months that followed, I experienced many struggles adjusting to my new body impairments,. This took a toll on my ability to enjoy the normal bonding time that a mother should have with their new child and affected my ability to get back to life . I needed special at home care for two weeks after going home from the hospital, my stay there had been 4 1/2 days. Yet three weeks post delivery, I was still struggling just to cope with the trauma I experienced and the changes that were now a part of me. Within the first year I had contemplated the benefits of death more than a few times.

The overwhelming traumatic process that I experienced tore at me physically and emotionally. I then experienced exacerbated suffering caused by my now ex husband, and the damage cannot be explained in mere words. Because of this, the post partum depression I struggled with for over 26 months post delivery altered my views of life. I was irritable, deeply saddened, and deeply resentful. To this day, my body has never recovered from the trauma.

However, there was a significant blessing that occurred within the trauma that August long ago. My life and my daughters life were spared. In my near death experience close to the whispers of God, I have found new meaning and new direction in my life. In the years following these horrible hours and days, I have grown much less tolerant of others who are negligent and abusive. I have found more meaning in simple things, and I have grown much closer to the one who saved me from death's door-God. My daughter is a beautiful young woman about to be married and she has been affected positively by my attention to details in life and my value based compass.

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Postpartum Depression - the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly Truth

I had heard about postpartum depression, I had read about postpartum depression, but I really never knew anything about it. All of the books that you read throughout pregnancy have a blurb or a mention toward the end, in an "after the baby is born" section, but I rarely read those. I had been pregnant and had a healthy baby boy before, so I assumed that the same would be true for my second pregnancy. However, although I did have a healthy baby girl, the thoughts and feelings that I had after her birth were nothing that I had ever experienced.

I cannot pinpoint when the postpartum depression began, but when the time came that I did start noticing the signs, it hit me with an unbearable force. I was completely exhausted, incredibly sad all of the time and the anxiety that I was experiencing had me questioning my sanity. I was certain that I was a horrible parent and had overwhelming thoughts of harm coming to my baby. Some women believe that they will be the ones that harm their child, but my thought process was that everything else could hurt the baby and I was the only one that could keep her safe. On the opposite end of the spectrum though, I was horrified at the thought of my husband leaving me alone with the baby. My rational self told me that I had done this before and was completely capable, but I had these irrational thoughts that kept whispering in my ear - you have no clue what you are doing, you are a terrible person, you will not do what needs to be done, you will fail her. There were times that I just felt like I needed to get away, that there was nothing good that could come to this child if I continued to be her parent.

As things progressively got worse, my husband and family members starting noticing the changes. There was one evening when I felt as though I could not take the thoughts in my head any longer. I started crying and could not quit. I was shaking. My thoughts did not make sense. I just felt like I needed to go, and I needed to go right then. I called my parents to come and watch my children and my husband helped me to the car and we headed to the emergency room. As we rode toward the E.R. I started talking to him and telling him how I felt. It felt good to talk. I started to calm down. I asked him not to take me to the E.R. that night, I thought that the talking had solved my problem. We went home but as much as I had hoped, things had not changed. After a while all of the thoughts came flooding back. The next morning, I called my OB/GYN and made an appointment.

My OB/GYN was incredibly supportive and talked through my feelings and thoughts with me. We discussed now knowing exactly what causes PPD, but she felt as though I was suffering from it. She wrote me a prescription for an anti-depressant and asked that I take it each day. I fought taking the medication, but after both she and my husband voicing their concerns, I agreed. She also suggested therapy. In the end, I did take the medication as directed but was unable to find any therapists that were able to take me on as a patient. I would be waiting a minimum of two months for treatment. I did find some relief with the anti-depressant, but the most help came from talking to my husband, my family and my friends.

For women that are dealing with PPD, there are a few things to keep in mind.

• 1. You cannot think of PPD as a taboo topic. Mothers have been made to feel as though they should only be happy and excited by the birth of their child. However, there are so many other emotions that you can experience. For example, I had a c-section and now only was I feeling happiness and elation at my beautiful little girl, I was also hurting and feeling dependent on my husband, which I did not like.

• 2. Talk to someone. I was able to find a caring and understanding support system with my husband and my family. Some women may not have that option. If you do not, call your doctor, a counselor, a therapist. Just talk. Make your feelings known. The more you keep to yourself, the harder things can be.

• 3. Read the information about things that could affect you after the baby is born. Women are incredibly interested in exactly what is happening with their body and their baby throughout pregnancy, but many forget to really pay attention to what will happen after that bundle of joy is no longer taking up residence in their body.

• 4. Ask for help! If you need help watching the baby so that you can sleep, ask for it. If you need help catching up with the dishes or the laundry or the housework, ask for it. Don't be afraid to ask, many women have given birth and they will completely understand.

Postpartum depression was one of the most difficult things that I have gone through. The inability to think clearly and constantly questioning made for difficult days. Feeling as though I was dependent on others weighed on me, too. However, after beginning to ask for help, using my medication as prescribed and being more open about the things that I was experiencing, I was able to begin healing. I learned that I did not have to be the perfect mother, I just had to be the best that I could be for my daughter and ask for help from others as needed. It was a tough lesson to learn, but one that I try to keep in mind when things become overwhelming.

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The Baby Blues

When I look back at the roller coaster of emotions I felt after having my first child, I have to take a deep breath. She was born prematurely and I spent 19 long hours in labor before an emergency c-section. To say I was exhausted was an understatement. I was overwhelmed, yet very excited that my little bundle of joy had arrived but I felt no happiness.

The next day

On Day two when all of the visitors showed up, I wanted the baby to myself. I was tired, sad, and had no clue I was suffering from post partum depression.

My spouse, family and nurses all attributed my sadness and constant crying to the "baby blues". A nurse described them to me as sadness from the overwhelming experience of childbirth, hormones, nursing etc. So I told myself I would be ok and that I just needed to go home.

Home

When you are suffering from undiagnosed post partum depression, being home alone is one of the worst places you could be. After all the family/friends leave and your spouse has gone back to work, you are left to deal with your new baby and emotions. Coupled with sleepless nights, hours long nursing sessions and no time to yourself, your emotions are running high. You do not want to hurt your baby or yourself so you wonder what to do.

The checkup

When I went in for my 6 week checkup I finally admitted to feeling as if I had post partum depression. I had tried for weeks to take it easy, let others help me, eat healthy foods, drink tons of water, take walks and ignore my constant feelings of sadness, but that was not enough. My mind needed help and I could not fix it on my own.

Treatment

My doctor recommended a safe for nursing antidepressant, made sure I was otherwise healthy and sent me on my way. In my mind I knew I could not just take an antidepressant but that I needed some form of therapy. Since I could not afford counseling, I joined a mommy and me group to be around other women who were dealing with young babies just like I was. Just knowing someone else out there feels your pain and emotions is very comforting. And those moms definitely felt my pain

On the mend

I still made sure to eat healthy, take long walks, and take care of myself along with the antidepressants. Healing my post partum depression was very crucial to me getting my life back and being able to give the best care to my child. If her mom was not healthy, then she did not have a good chance of being healthy either. All it takes is a little courage to let a loved one or doctor know that you do not feel ok. They are there to help you and make sure you can give the best care to your child. Your child is worth admitting that you can not do it alone and need help. All it takes is one step.

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My Own Horrible Experience With Postpartum Depression

I first found out that I was expecting my first daughter in 1999 I was only 18 I was very scared, I remember telling my mum that I was pregnant and asked her what should I do? She did not say anything she just looked at me with disgust.

November 2000 I woke up in a pool of blood and in pain, when I finally got to the hospital I was checked over by the Obstetrician, within 10 minutes of arriving at the hospital I was being prepped for emergency surgery. I remember grabbing the nurses' hand and begged her to stay with me as I was crying and terrified, no one had told me what was going on and my family would come to the hospital to support me. I was lucky enough that the nurse stayed by my side even through the surgery.

The next day the nurse came and checked on me and my new baby and saw that I was not in a good headspace, she went and found someone to come and speak with me. I was quickly diagnosed with having Postpartum Depression. The same morning the doctor came in and prescribed me with anti depression medication. I began to take the medication and unfortunately within a few days of taking the medication I began to have a bad reaction to the medication, I started having suicidal thoughts and I did not want to go near my baby. I knew this was not right so I went to my local doctor. The doctor suggested I changed medication I was on to another anti depressant, I asked him was there another way I could beat depression? He said there are some natural therapies that may help if I was unwilling to take prescribed medication. I went and saw a natural therapist who had made up an individual plan for me. I was fortunate that the therapies I used for me worked, within six months of being diagnosed with depression I went back to my doctor and received the news I so desperately wanted to hear, I no longer had depression.

What I learnt from this experience is not every depression case is the same, and not all medications work the same way for everyone.

Tips to avoid struggling with depression.

• Have a good support network, such as friends or family.

• If you do not know you have depression and you find yourself crying not knowing why, tell someone especially your doctor.

• Ask people for help, it does not make you a bad parent quite the opposite. If you receive help then you are helping yourself and your baby.

• Take time out for yourself everyday, if you are happy then your baby will be happy too.

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My Process to Overcome Postpartum Depression

Each person is unique, every pregnancy is different, but the depression is all the same. It sucks being sad! Especially when there's no reason, postpartum hits at the most inopportune times. I remember watching a Sesame Street episode with Jim Carey playing a kid tethered to a jungle gym and he wasn't able to escape. My tears continued to flow because that was so sad. My boobs hurt, my body was sore, and I couldn't get through a day without bawling at least once.

Situation

My husband was a Marine; I was pulled from my home to live on a Marine base with other women in similar situations. We were all parents or were pregnant, just about every day I met someone who was either recently released from the maternity ward or was scheduled to go. I heard the toughest job in the Marines was being a dependent wife and I agree. He was hardly ever home, and when he was, it was to grab a bite. He didn't even sleep in our bed. I know, hindsight is 20/20 and once I had proof, I was out of there. The situation did not help with my postpartum. I was crying every night I put my son to bed, even long after I think I was past the postpartum stage, but I can't be sure. I realized that wasn't how I wanted to raise my son; I didn't want him to know me as always being sad.

Solution

I began exercising. I started off slowly, I slung my baby in the Snugli and we walked around the neighborhood. Luckily, exercising is addictive. We went out every day, then we went multiple times in the day, then we extended our walks and incorporated fits of jogging. Along the way we met people who shared an interest in walking, sometimes they'd meet up and walk with us, but we were mostly on our own. On our walks I talked to the baby, I sang songs, said movie lines, memorized the alphabet backwards, and recited states and capitols and nations of the world. I grew confident and uncovered a strength I forgot I had, the postpartum disappeared. I was challenging myself physically and intellectually instead of moping around in a pit of despair. I became a person I knew my son would be proud of.

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My Experience with Postpartum Depression

I experienced postpartum depression after the births of my first two children, but not with my third. This does lead me to wonder how much of the way I was feeling was actually brought about by my own body chemistry and how much of it was situational. I was very young when I had my first two daughters and my partner at the time was not exactly what one would call kind and supportive. I firmly believe that only a small amount of what I went through during those periods was as a result of actual chemical depression and that the lion's share of the anxiety and unhappiness I felt was due to the fact that I did not have the support or the love that I needed in my life at the time.

The main symptoms were feelings of anxiety and sadness, coupled with a tendency to cry a lot and to feel that I was not able to cope with motherhood. I often questioned my own ability to raise a child and felt inadequate because I was so tired and unhappy for much of the time. After a few months I began to recover, but in all honesty my emotional well being did not truly improve until I left my partner when my second daughter was just eight months old.

In contrast, I was surrounded by love and I had all the support I needed when my third child was born and although I had short periods of what I guess you would call "the baby blues" during the first few months of her life, these episodes were not exacerbated by an unhealthy or dysfunctional home environment and I found it much easier to keep them in perspective, and to recover from them quickly. So, as a result of the changes in my life, going from a cold and dysfunctional relationship to a loving and decent one, my experience of postpartum depression went from periods in which I actually felt completely hopeless and close to suicide, to just a few brief episodes of feeling anxious and tearful, which I could talk about and feel understood through, and which the love of those around me pulled me through much more quickly.

I am certainly not saying that postpartum depression is completely environmental - not by any means. I am also aware that I was lucky enough not to have all of the most prolonged or severe symptoms. It did have a profound effect on my life at the time, though, and the love and support of those close to you is, in my opinion, a truly essential component in a woman's recovery from this disorder.

I was prescribed anti-depressants after my second daughter was born, and I honestly do not think I would have been able to cope without them during the year that followed. They basically made the difference between being able to function on a daily basis and do what I needed to do, or sitting around in my dressing gown, barely able to work up the energy to feed and change my children. I stayed on them for just over two years and then reduced off them slowly after I had been feeling better for some time. For me the medication route proved to be a very positive one, but I needed to make sure that all of my own needs were being met before I truly and fully recovered. That meant reaching out to close family, friends and professionals and taking an honest look at my life and how to improve it.

In a way, the postpartum depression was a major catalyst for change in my younger years, as it encouraged me to get into both one to one and group counselling, which was arranged through my GP, and to make the changes which have ultimately led to the happy and fulfilling life I have today.

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How Becoming a Parent Changed Me

I've never really been good with kids. I was the babysitter who ignored your phone calls because I didn't want to watch your kids [don't judge me]. When I held babies, they cried. And I can be a little too practical and not-so-imaginative when it comes to playing kids' games.

If anyone told me they thought I would be a great mother when I was younger, I am pretty sure they lied. My parents agree, even they weren't sure if I had any maternal instincts.

That was all up until the last couple of years, when everything changed.

When Mike and I got married two years ago, I got the itch. And I mean, I had it BAD. I swear I took a pregnancy test every other month. One of my closest friends, Jessica and I would talk and dream about when we could finally convince our husbands to let us have kids.

And then college wrapped up, and we moved for me to start my first job and at about our one year anniversary, I decided with Mike that we should wait for five years to have kids- with starting my first job and him wanting to finish his degree that had been previously put on hold, we thought it would be the best decision.

Funny story though. A couple weeks later, on my second day of work, after weeks of nausea and exhaustion, we bought a test and silently, nervously waited and watched together... Only to see that with all our recent planning, there were bigger plans to be had. We were pregnant.

The realization that there was a tiny, fragile, beautiful little life growing inside me hadn't entirely hit me at that point. In the beginning, the excitement intermingled with stress and sickness, and I couldn't entirely tell which way was up. But the love and the joy was quickly building in ways that I had never imagined before.

The moment that it all became real to me was after learning that he- the little life growing inside of me- was a baby boy- he was my little Lincoln... It all sunk in. The bond that a mother has with her child- the deep, heart warming, tears welling, could-hold-you-in-my-arms-forever bond that I saw in my mom with us- I got it.

And the day that Lincoln was born and took his first breath, squinty-eyed, all purple and ripe- it hit me like a train as Mike and I, side-by-side wept at how beautiful he was. How proud we were of him. How deeply we loved this tiny, fragile life.

And as I held him close and whispered to him with the voice he had already heard 1000 times, he only snuggled in closer.

This little life captured my heart and completely changed me. It's like he unlocked a part of me that I didn't know I had. A part of me that made me more whole with more love than I ever knew I could give.

And as he sleeps in my arms as I write this, that love only grows.

I am the one that comforts him, the one that loves him, the one that knows him and he knows back. I am his safe zone.

And he is my joy, my little love. He is my game changer.

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How to Treat Depression During Pregnancy

Many women become temporarily depressed during pregnancy. Between life, hormonal and physical changes taking place, many women find they are experiencing depression for the first time in their lives. However, others have dealt with chronic depression, months or years before becoming pregnant. These women are suffering from major depressive disorder. Our daughter is one of those who suffers from depression during pregnancy. Thinking positively, waiting it out, or merely dealing with the depression is not an option.However, most doctors are reluctant to prescribe anti-depressants during this period. Many opt to forgo medicine during pregnancy, for fear of it interfering with the baby's development. There are treatment options for women suffering from major depressive disorder that do not include traditional medications. Medication are an option as a last resort.

Therapy

Counseling is often a part of treatment for depression. Our daughter generally goes once a month to be followed by a therapist, who checks her symptoms and decides if treatment is on course. However, many therapists ask pregnant women to come to counseling more often. For those choosing to not take medication during pregnancy, frequent therapy ensures that any problems or worsening of symptoms can be taken care of immediately. A therapist does not prescribe medication and will refer the client to a Psychiatrist, who can prescribe anti depressants and other medicines as needed.

Alternative Treatments

Herbs and supplements exist that have been proven to help alleviate depression symptoms. Some of these include St Johns Wort, 5 HTP and Omega 3 Fatty acids. It is important to check with an Ob/Gyn to verify that these medicines are safe to take during pregnancy. Herbs and supplements that do not cross the placental barrier or do so in smaller quantities are the best choice. If doing internet research, rely on reputable sites connected with a major medical facility or published research on the topic. However, the last resort for information should be the individual's doctor.

Some doctors prescribe a light therapy box to treat depression, however this generally proves more effective for Seasonal Affective Disorder.(SAD) SAD is depression brought on by a lack of sunlight and usually occurs during winter months or in areas that receive very little sunlight. The light from the box is thought to affect brain chemicals that are directly related to depression. Therefore, many therapists and Psychiatrists prescribe light therapy for those not suffering from SAD.

Safer Anti- Depressants

If symptoms are severe or a doctor feels medication is necessary, there are options that are safer for the baby and the Mom during pregnancy. Generally, two classes of antidepressants are prescribed during pregnancy. Tricyclic antidepressants such as Elavil are prescribed in addition to a select choice of Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor medicines, such as Prozac. It is important to notice that research has shown possible birth defects related to antidepressants. Severe depression might necessitate medication in order to protect the life of the Mother.

Depression is a serious medical issue,especially during depression when the health of the Mother is directly related to the health of the baby. There is no need to suffer with depression during pregnancy when treatment options exist. If you or a loved one find yourself dealing with depression during pregnancy, inform your Ob/ Gyn who can refer you to a therapist or Psychiatrist.

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My Experience with Postpartum Depression

Postpartum depressions happens more often than you think. One should not feel inadequate or embarrassed if they are suffering from postpartum depression. I had my first and only child when I was 20 years old. I was immediately a grown up and a mother. I had moved 600 miles away from home and I felt completely alone.

I had heard about postpartum depression before my baby was born, and I never imagined it would happen to me. The depression did not start immediately after my baby was born it was gradual. Although I was married and had the support of my husband, I still felt completely helpless with my feelings. I felt sorry for myself, cried all the time, and lost an extreme amount of weight. I felt lonely and frustrated, nothing I did gave me relief from this disgusting feeling I felt in the pit of my stomach.

Eventually this depression had taken a tole on my marriage. I could see that I was not only holding myself back from being happy but also my new baby and my husband. Like with most things, if you do not like something, change it. I forced myself to step out of my ordinary day and do things differently. I no longer slept in, and I made myself eat right and exercise. I started looking for part time work, and I started taking classes at the near by university. I realized that my baby and my "stay at home mom" life was not all I had left to live for, I had ambitions and goals that I need to pull out of the closet.

Once I started living for me and taking care of me I began to feel much better about my life. Postpartum depression does not have to consume you, it can be overcome with a good support system, and faith in yourself.

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How to Get Past Postpartum Anxiety and Get Back on with Life

Postpartum anxiety affects many women after child birth and should not be taken lightly. There are many ways to treat the postpartum blues, but if it gets too serious, sometimes a counselor might need to be the next step. This article will explain some of the symptoms of moms experiencing postpartum anxiety and what she can do about it to get back to being herself.

Symptoms of a mom experiencing postpartum blues

Some symptoms to look out for are being sad all the time, bouts of crying, feeling worthless, lack of energy, feeling agitated or irritable, fatigue, insomnia, lack of sexual drive, feeling rejected, anxiety, feeling like a failure and many others. If you experience any of these feelings then there are some things you can do to help get over this postpartum anxiety. If you feel like you want to hurt yourself or other people, definitely get yourself some professional help right away.

What you can do to get rid of postpartum depression and get back to being yourself

Try to avoid being alone as much as you can. Spending time with friends and family can be the best cure for postpartum blues. It not only gets your mind off of things, but keeps you busy. Besides, nothing brings a smile to the face than spending time with people you love.

Do not be afraid to talk about your feelings to either your spouse, friends or family members. Sometimes just expressing your feelings and having someone listen to you can be all it takes to feeling better. If talking to people who are close to you doesn't seem to help, do not be ashamed to seek counseling.

Keep yourself healthy. Make sure you are exercising, eating right and drinking enough water. Take your vitamins and get plenty of rest. This doesn't mean stay in bed all day which is the total opposite of what you want. Staying in bed all day will not only worsen the symptoms of postpartum anxiety but can cause depression as well.

Get back to what you were doing before you gave birth. Sometimes getting back to your normal routine can shake the blues out of you and get you back to being yourself. Force yourself to get out of bed, take a shower and maybe go for a morning walk to get yourself going and then get on with what it is that you normally do. Obviously, there will be some change to your normal routine now that your new baby is home, but do your best to bring back some familiar activities to your life or start a new routine that involves your little one.

Make an attempt to pamper yourself often. This alone is a great cure to postpartum anxiety. Sit in a warm bubble bath with scented candles lit and some of your favorite music playing. Hire a babysitter if you can and go out with some friends. Even a long, vigorous walk can do you good. Anything to keep you out of bed and keep you moving.

Cuddle with your new baby. Holding your new bundle of joy can do wonders for anyone. Not only will you benefit from this affectionate cuddling, but your new baby will as well. It's important to create that bond with your little one as soon as possible.

These are some ways to help fight postpartum anxiety. Try a few of them and see what works for you and remember, it is ok to seek professional help if nothing seems to work. Postpartum doesn't usually last too long so do your best to get through it and get back to yourself.

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Postpartum Depression - the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly Truth

I had heard about postpartum depression, I had read about postpartum depression, but I really never knew anything about it. All of the books that you read throughout pregnancy have a blurb or a mention toward the end, in an "after the baby is born" section, but I rarely read those. I had been pregnant and had a healthy baby boy before, so I assumed that the same would be true for my second pregnancy. However, although I did have a healthy baby girl, the thoughts and feelings that I had after her birth were nothing that I had ever experienced.

I cannot pinpoint when the postpartum depression began, but when the time came that I did start noticing the signs, it hit me with an unbearable force. I was completely exhausted, incredibly sad all of the time and the anxiety that I was experiencing had me questioning my sanity. I was certain that I was a horrible parent and had overwhelming thoughts of harm coming to my baby. Some women believe that they will be the ones that harm their child, but my thought process was that everything else could hurt the baby and I was the only one that could keep her safe. On the opposite end of the spectrum though, I was horrified at the thought of my husband leaving me alone with the baby. My rational self told me that I had done this before and was completely capable, but I had these irrational thoughts that kept whispering in my ear - you have no clue what you are doing, you are a terrible person, you will not do what needs to be done, you will fail her. There were times that I just felt like I needed to get away, that there was nothing good that could come to this child if I continued to be her parent.

As things progressively got worse, my husband and family members starting noticing the changes. There was one evening when I felt as though I could not take the thoughts in my head any longer. I started crying and could not quit. I was shaking. My thoughts did not make sense. I just felt like I needed to go, and I needed to go right then. I called my parents to come and watch my children and my husband helped me to the car and we headed to the emergency room. As we rode toward the E.R. I started talking to him and telling him how I felt. It felt good to talk. I started to calm down. I asked him not to take me to the E.R. that night, I thought that the talking had solved my problem. We went home but as much as I had hoped, things had not changed. After a while all of the thoughts came flooding back. The next morning, I called my OB/GYN and made an appointment.

My OB/GYN was incredibly supportive and talked through my feelings and thoughts with me. We discussed now knowing exactly what causes PPD, but she felt as though I was suffering from it. She wrote me a prescription for an anti-depressant and asked that I take it each day. I fought taking the medication, but after both she and my husband voicing their concerns, I agreed. She also suggested therapy. In the end, I did take the medication as directed but was unable to find any therapists that were able to take me on as a patient. I would be waiting a minimum of two months for treatment. I did find some relief with the anti-depressant, but the most help came from talking to my husband, my family and my friends.

For women that are dealing with PPD, there are a few things to keep in mind.

• 1. You cannot think of PPD as a taboo topic. Mothers have been made to feel as though they should only be happy and excited by the birth of their child. However, there are so many other emotions that you can experience. For example, I had a c-section and now only was I feeling happiness and elation at my beautiful little girl, I was also hurting and feeling dependent on my husband, which I did not like.

• 2. Talk to someone. I was able to find a caring and understanding support system with my husband and my family. Some women may not have that option. If you do not, call your doctor, a counselor, a therapist. Just talk. Make your feelings known. The more you keep to yourself, the harder things can be.

• 3. Read the information about things that could affect you after the baby is born. Women are incredibly interested in exactly what is happening with their body and their baby throughout pregnancy, but many forget to really pay attention to what will happen after that bundle of joy is no longer taking up residence in their body.

• 4. Ask for help! If you need help watching the baby so that you can sleep, ask for it. If you need help catching up with the dishes or the laundry or the housework, ask for it. Don't be afraid to ask, many women have given birth and they will completely understand.

Postpartum depression was one of the most difficult things that I have gone through. The inability to think clearly and constantly questioning made for difficult days. Feeling as though I was dependent on others weighed on me, too. However, after beginning to ask for help, using my medication as prescribed and being more open about the things that I was experiencing, I was able to begin healing. I learned that I did not have to be the perfect mother, I just had to be the best that I could be for my daughter and ask for help from others as needed. It was a tough lesson to learn, but one that I try to keep in mind when things become overwhelming.

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Bad Pregnancy Dreams: Interpreting & Getting Rid of Them

Move Fearlessly into the Future

Expectant mothers have some of the most bizarre dreams imaginable. Unfortunately, along with the wet dreams about Brad Pitt, bad dreams come as well. Almost all pregnant women have a nightmare at some point during their pregnancy. A lot of these dreams will be caused by fears she has related to the pregnancy. Interpreting these dreams to understand these fears, then confronting them, is not only a great way to banish these nightmares -- but also to make sure you are totally prepared for motherhood.

One of the most common themes in bad pregnancy dreams is fetal defects. Most women, especially first-time mothers, have dreams about their babies being born disfigured or with some terrible deformity. Try to put your mind at ease. Fetal defects are quite rare, even more so for some than others. Do some research about fetal defects, how common they are, who is at risk, and most importantly how treatable they are. The information out there is usually very reassuring.

The second most common nightmare is about something going wrong with the pregnancy. This includes miscarriage, placenta problems, premature delivery, and even stillbirth. As with defects, you can reassure yourself by looking into how common these things are, what your risk is, and how to treat or prevent them. If you're at risk, take preventative methods. Educating yourself is the best way to eliminate your fears. Remember that most pregnancies are completely uneventful.

You may also have dreams about the birth. Once again, you may see something terrible happening. Maybe you or the baby dies during childbirth. Maybe the umbilical cord is around the child's neck Whatever it is bad that happens, do some research. Ask your doctor about it. Remember that only 1 in every 10,000 women die in childbirth in America. Also, the umbilical cord is around the neck 30% of the time and usually just needs to be unwrapped! A lot of times, you will find you are worrying about something that is really no big deal.

Your dreams may be about motherhood. You may have a dream where you hurt, abandon, or lose the baby. This is especially true in first-time mothers who haven't had a chance to develop confidence or who became pregnant suddenly. You have a maternal instinct, and you'll feel it even when you're giving birth. You are going to be a wonderful mother. You can build confidence by spending time with other mothers and talking about these fears, reading about different parenting approaches, and doing research now so that you can feel comfortable with your decisions.

Nightmares can also be about love, specifically a lack thereof. In a dream, you may not love your baby. He may not love you. It is very rare for that to happen. You will love your child with your whole heart, and he will love you. Even if he screams "I hate you" in a fit of fury, he doesn't mean it. Read birth stories. Talk to mothers of babies. Spend some time with a baby. You'll see how strongly those mothers love their little ones. You'll see that babies are nothing but pure, concentrated love.

Some dreams are easy to interpret. For example, maybe you have a dream where you can't even change a diaper. Learn! If you have a dream about your partner not supporting you, maybe you have some subconscious doubts about your relationship. It is important to address these before the baby is born. Some women have bad dreams that they interpret to be related to not yet being married to the father, a feeling that things are happening backwards and that stability is lacking. The solution is to get married. Couples have done this even in the birthing room!

I remember during my first pregnancy, I had several pregnancy-related dreams. I wasn't afraid of birth defects, because I was so young and not at risk. My dreams weren't about things going wrong but about the way people reacted to different things. They were also tell-tale signs of my insecurities about my abilities as a mother.

I did have a dream where the baby came out prematurely at home. I was afraid I would be scolded in the hospital for giving birth so early, but the baby was actually perfect! I thought "Should I put it back in?!" Hah! Now that may seem like I was afraid of giving birth too soon, but it wasn't. The truth is that it was a manifestation of my feelings about how my prenatal care providers treated me. They often scolded me for silly things like not wanting to take the classes, which I felt were unnecessary. I was treated like I was a naïve, ignorant child.

In another dream of mine, I was at a party, and I kept leaving the baby--forgetting him. Then I would search for him frantically and finally find him okay. I knew that I lacked confidence about my mothering skills. I was only 19. I didn't know what to do about it. I retained these fears right up through labor! I was still worrying as I had contractions. I had wanted him so bad but suddenly, I didn't feel ready! That changed when they placed him in my arms. I knew instantly that I would fight fiercely for him.

With this pregnancy, I have had only one nightmare. It was completely unrealistic, of course, but terrifying. I dreamed that after some light spotting, blood trickled into my panties. I then felt my placenta trying to come out through my cervix! (This would never happen. Your cervix is too closed until late labor for this to happen, and it would take contractions to open it.) I knew that placenta previa meant that I must have a C-section. I knew if the placenta came out, the baby would have no oxygen and could die. I called my husband at work but couldn't reach him. I called 911 three times, and they wouldn't dispatch an ambulance! They thought I was prank-calling them! My stepmother and father, who live in another state, were suddenly there, and I told them that we had to go to the ER. They began taking their time packing, thinking I was just in labor and that we had time. I couldn't explain to them what an emergency this was. Finally, I decided to just drive myself, and that's when they realized the seriousness. I got to the hospital and was admitted, and everything was going to be okay. Nevertheless the nurse was acting suspicious, but nice, and my father was sitting there with a displeased look as if he wanted to lecture me.

I am having an unassisted pregnancy and planning an unassisted childbirth. You'd think this dream would be about a fear of placenta previa. It wasn't. My placenta is actually at the top left of my uterus, nowhere near my cervix! I know it's not an issue. I would, however, be extremely disappointed if I had to have a C-section. With all I've learned about them, I am afraid of them. In the dream I almost wanted to cry about having to have a scheduled C-section. I will consent if I must to save my baby's life, but I would not be happy about it. Moreover, I am afraid that if something does go wrong, either people won't help me or will be mean to me for my choice. I know if something goes wrong, the medics are capable of treating it. However, I have heard stories of women being treated most awfully after transferring from homebirths. I am also afraid of being blamed for anything that goes wrong and of lectures from family, strangers, etc.--even over things that couldn't have been foreseen or prevented. I obviously need to develop my faith in the medical community.

Interpreting your bad dreams may not always be easy, but it is worth it to do so. Remember that things are not always what they seem. You must reflect carefully to truly understand the root. Only when you confront your fears will you get rid of your nightmares. Doing so will allow you to move fearless into the future, embracing birth and motherhood with open arms. Don't let your fears hold you back. Don't let your dreams scare you. Let them lead you to better self-understanding, so that you can prepare yourself even more adequately for the journey of motherhood.

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Infertility in Men

Primary infertility in men consists of a man who is unable to conceive a child despite the fact that he has sex with a primary fertile woman without use of some form of birth control for at least one year of time. Secondary infertility in men includes a man, who has been able to have one child, but then experiences the same symptoms as a man who has primary infertility.

Many things can contribute to male infertility including, a decreased number of sperm, sperm that is blocked, or sperm that malfunctions in some way. Infertility in men can also be contributed to by environmental exposures or pollutants, genetic abnormalities, a man who is of increased age, chemotherapy (past or present), smoking, alcohol or drug usage, impotence, infections of the testes, sexually transmitted disease, trauma to the testes, or a prolonged exposure to the genitals.

Medical practitioners are able to detect primary infertility by taking a medical history, taking a semen analysis (counting the sperm count to see if it is normal or low), or by conducting a testicular biopsy.

Treatment is conducted through education, intrauterine inseminations, or in vitro fertilization (IVF). The medical practitioner may also try to treat and prevent the infections which contribute to the infertility.

During the process of infertility or non-infertility, medical practitioners recommend that both partners maintain a healthy diet, weight, and lifestyle. The medical practitioner may also prescribe a multivitamin.

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A Bundle of Joy yet I Am Sad

Postpartum depression and I became well acquainted with my later pregnancies. However my first born son arrived just before my twenty-fourth birthday and for the most part I was a happy new mother. If I experienced postpartum depression then, it was very mild. My second son was born with numerous health problems and abnormalities. I was not a happy new mother. Whether it was postpartum depression or not I am not sure, for the stress of giving birth to a terminally ill baby is a challenge. My third son was born healthy and I was fairly happy, yet I had moments of being sad with no real reason. My fourth son was premature and a stillborn. I suspect that my depression and grief during that difficult time was complicated with postpartum depression. I had also by then experienced three miscarriages, all of which were followed with a period of deep depression. Then I struggled immensely with postpartum depression after the birth of my fifth son, almost to the point of being psychotic. My next pregnancy ended at 11 weeks gestation in a miscarriage and I became extremely depressed and suicidal. My last son was born healthy when I was 39 and I developed severe postpartum depression with psychosis.

There, I have just disclosed a history of depression. I should not be ashamed, nor should I be apologetic. People do not choose to be depressed. Being sad is not a choice any more than being happy is a choice. It is a misnomer that a person can think themselves into happiness. True depression is not easily swayed by entertaining happy thoughts. I have also heard people say that being sad is a tool of the devil. This is not true. Depression is not caused by the devil or by having evil thoughts. It is biological in nature. Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance, change of hormone levels, or an environmental stress such as the death of a loved one.

The Cause of Postpartum Depression (PPD)

Postpartum depression is caused by the sudden change in hormones after child birth. A history of previous depression and the existence of external stresses are seen as contributing factors. It is estimated that up to 80 percent of new mothers will experience postpartum depression to some degree.

Looking back over my child rearing years I can see that I indeed had some level of postpartum depression for at least eight of my ten pregnancies. I honestly must admit that I was a mess. My symptoms of depression worsened with each pregnancy. I truly feared for the safety of my children. I was afraid of my own self. I would see on the news reports of mothers killing their children during a moment of psychosis from postpartum depression and I feared. It was my fear of myself that led to my reaching out for help.

Symptoms of Postpartum Depression (PPD)

The symptoms of postpartum depression are what gave birth to the term "baby blues" which people for centuries have referred to. This mild form may affect up to 80 percent of new mothers. The severe form, known as Postpartum Psychosis is said to occur in one out of every 1000 births.

I guess I really beat the odds for I experienced this severe form following three of my pregnancies. Here are the most common symptoms of postpartum depression according to the DSM-IV --

• Depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day. Expressed (feels sad or empty) or observed by others (appears tearful).

• Loss of interest in all, or almost all, activities most of the day, nearly every day.

• Significant gain or loss in weight not due to dieting.

• Not able to sleep or sleeping too much nearly every day.

• Agitated and restless or sluggish and non-active every day.

• Fatigue and loss of energy nearly every day.

• Feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt (guilt may be delusional) nearly every day.

• Unable to think clearly or to concentrate, being indecisive almost every day.

• Thoughts of death, suicidal ideations or plans to commit suicide, or suicide attempts.

To be diagnosed with PPD a person must have at least five of the above symptoms.

Treatment for Postpartum Depression (PPD)

PPD is most often treated with a combination of talk therapy and medication. However the use of estrogen or progestin looks promising. The anti-depressants used most often are Prozac, Paxil, Celexa, Zoloft, Wellbutrin, Effexor, and Serzone. They are often accompanied with anti-anxiety drugs like Lorazepam, Klonopin, and Ativan. Sometimes mood stabilizers such as Depakote and Lithium are also used. If a mother develops a psychosis treatment requires more intense measures such as psychiatric hospitalizations and stronger anti-psychotic medications. Cognitive behavioral psychotherapy and group therapy are often helpful. Once a woman experiences severe PPD following a pregnancy, future pregnancies should be well monitored.

As for me, I experienced almost all of the above. The most helpful treatment for me was a supportive husband and family. As for the medications which I tried, most had unpleasant side effects. Learning coping skills from a skilled therapist was what literally saved my life.

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Benefits of Choosing a Midwife: 5 Reasons to Choose a Midwife for Maternity Care

The state of maternity care in the United States is at a crossroad. More women are turning to home birth and other more natural frameworks for approaching pregnancy. At the same time, the c-section rate is rising and many women receive unwanted and unnecessary interventions during labor. In rare cases, women even experience post-traumatic stress disorder as a result of birth experiences that they perceived to be invasive, frightening or exploitative. Regardless of whether you want a completely natural birth or prefer a birth in a hospital setting with lots of painkillers, a midwife could be the right choice for you. Here are five reasons to consider choosing a midwife:

Safer Deliveries

Many women worry that, without a doctor, their deliveries will be unsafe. This couldn't be farther from the truth. Several studies have indicated that a delivery with a midwife can actually be safer than one with an obstetrician. There are a couple of reasons for this. First, midwives tend to spend more time with their patients so they're more likely to spot trouble early. Second, midwives are less likely to pressure women into c-sections unless they're absolutely necessary, which can reduce complications. Finally, midwives are frequently aware of alternative treatments for common labor concerns such as tearing, dehydration, diarrhea, etc. These treatments can prevent these problems before they happen, further reducing the rate of complications.

Fewer Interventions 

Modern maternity medicine has absolutely saved thousands of lives. Unfortunately, many interventions that occur during a typical pregnancy are unnecessary and even dangerous. Episiotomies, for example, are almost never warranted, and the C-section rate in the United States is about 10 times higher than it should be. All of these interventions carry risks, and can interfere with a woman's ability to bond with her baby. Midwives are unlikely to push unnecessary interventions and will allow you to have more control over your childbirth experience if that control is important to you.

Lower Cost

Despite their intensely personal care, their ability to prevent common complications and their many years of training, midwives are typically substantially less expensive than physicians. Certified nurse midwives are also normally covered by health insurance.

Informed Consent

Although it's technically not legal, many doctors push patients into procedures without obtaining fully informed consent. A doctor might say you "need" a procedure without explaining its risks, its alternatives or why you need it. The rates of obstetrical malpractice are steadily rising, partially because of the cascading effect these sorts of incidents have. A snap decision leads to another intervention and another, which increase the odds of complications. Midwives, however, tend to take more time with their patients and ensure they are fully informed before they make a decision.

Postpartum Help

If a doctor is your primary care provider, after your baby is born you likely won't talk to the doctor except for a follow up exam. Midwives, however, are trained in postpartum care, common newborn illnesses and breastfeeding, so you can count on your midwife to be available to help you in the weeks after your baby has arrived.

Although midwives aren't for everyone, and some births require obstetrical care, midwives are excellent caregivers who can help many women have healthier, happier pregnancies and deliveries.

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Being Pregnant Stinks (Literally)

Being pregnant isn't that bad -- actually it is pretty amazing. You can get out of everything; I'm growing a freaking person inside of me is the perfect excuse for eating whatever you want, doing what you want, not doing what you want. You name it. No one can argue the pregnancy excuse. But there are some major downsides to being pregnant. Every pregnancy is different for every woman, but here are a few of the symptoms I'm experiencing in my first trimester that I wasn't warned about.

1) Zits. I haven't had breakouts this bad since high school. My face is greasier than a pepperoni pizza with extra cheese. Is this the "pregnancy glow" that everyone always talks about? And it's not just my face either. I have zits on my back. Seriously. I'm 29 years old. This is embarrassing.

2) Cramps. I get terrible cramps when I have my period. I used to joke that at least when I got pregnant I wouldn't have cramps for nine months. Boy was I wrong.

3) Gag reflex. I gag. A lot. I can't floss my teeth. If I think about gagging, it will make me gag. And it's not just one gag and you're done, it's actual fits of gagging. Sometimes I'll gag when I have food in my mouth and have to spit it out because I'll throw up if I don't. Suffice it to say, I eat at home a lot more now. And taking those mega huge horse pill prenatal vitamins, forget about it. It takes me about five minutes of calming nose breathing to be able to get one of those bad boys down without a scene. And even then, there's sometimes a scene.

4) Exhaustion. I've never been so tired. My eyes burn and my body aches. My brain is a blur. Most days all I want to do is climb back into bed. And it seems like my friends, in-laws and husband aren't really getting it. I tell them I'm tired and they're like, yeah whatever, all you do is stay home all day, how could you really be that tired? I am really that tired. I didn't know it was possible to feel this tired, and I worked all through college while taking massive course loads. Of course, then I could drink coffee in tiny little cans. Now caffeine is a no-no and I've never wanted it so bad in my life.

5) Food aversions. You hear about the cravings, but you never hear about the aversions. I'm so picky now, it's ridiculous. Food I used to love, I can't even stomach the thought of. And it's the healthy foods too, like spinach and un-fried chicken that I can't eat anymore. Yeah, that's right, the only chicken I can stomach is fried chicken. And, of course, I can eat an entire box of Thin Mints but just the thought of cooked spinach is enough to start a gagging fit.

6) Sense of smell. Trust me, you don't ever want a super human sense of smell. There are a lot of bad smelling things out there. This, of course, leads to both gagging and food aversions. It's a tangled web of symptoms causing symptoms. It doesn't help that my husband and I currently live with my sister in-law who leaves open cans of cat food out on the kitchen counter.

7) Pregnancy brain. This was my first symptom. I was watching Jeopardy and couldn't come up with answers that I knew. I've gotten dumber, forgetful and just plain flaky. I don't feel safe driving my car. I have accidentally stolen two cases of bottled water from my grocery store on two separate occasions. I've never stolen a thing in my life until now. And I've done it twice. Either I'm growing a petty criminal inside of me who is negatively influencing my behavior or I've got a bad case of preg-nesia.

8) Gas. I can now officially out fart my husband.

9) Worrying all the time. This one is the worst for me. I worry constantly. I worry about the baby being okay. I worry about what I eat. I worry if I'm getting enough nutrients for the baby. I worry about lotions and other cosmetics I use. I worry about my dogs walking across my stomach. I worry about how much worrying might hurt my baby. I worry about second-hand smoke. I worry about everything. Then I get online and start looking things up, and it just makes me worry even more. As nice as it is to have the handy-dandy Internet at my disposal to look up all of my concerns, sometimes I think it's more a curse than anything, because it usually just leads to more worrying.

But it'll all be worth it in the end when I get to hold my little baby in my arms.

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A Baby and a Time of Sadness

When it comes to planning for a new addition to your family, or even the surprise of a new one to the household, most people think of the new arrangements such as lack of sleep or the joy of dressing your little one up in cute clothing. Often, another thing that comes after pregnancy is a time of postpartum depression, which can be slight or major.

Most often when people hear the term postpartum depression they think of women drowning their children and other worse and extreme situations. While this is true to some extent, many women go diagnosed with this type of depression, going along with their days and raise a happy and healthy child. Other women will go through a time of just not feeling like themselves anymore, yelling more, crying more, and not getting as much done as they planned for the day, week, or month at times. Being a parent is exhausting, and without a good support system depression can go to extremes.

Medication, exercise, and meditation.

Some women will swear by a morning walk with the stroller cures their blues, while others are able to find a moment to meditate and clear their minds and decrease worries, and another will be put on a prescription for their symptoms when they feel they aren't the "super mom with amazing coping skills". I put myself in this category: I was always a little more anxious, and to keep from becoming the mother who screams, I talked to my family physician and he put me on an anti-depressant, which has changed a few times through the last ten years, but I finally have relief along with an anti-anxiety that I take a couple of times a day. I grew up in a household where there was yelling by my father, and I don't want to be that parent - I didn't see where it got anyone but an evening on eggshells.

Early after my son was born, I had just gotten married after finding that I was pregnant, we were living with my grandmother-in-law, and my now ex-husband was as demanding as my newborn, wrecking vehicles like he owned State Farm. My son was born 18 days before 9/11/01, and I think that has tuned up the anxiety I have had as a child. After finding myself being the screamer, I talked with my doctor and he honestly listened. I also practiced deep breathing and learning to clear my head by having a moment to myself daily - depending on the amount of children you may need more of these.

No mother should be looked down upon because life gets too hectic and should not be looked down upon when seeking help for the changes in feelings that she may face after dealing with hormone changes in the body. Creating a child is a lot of work, and as long as we are there to help one another when we notice a mom has too much going on, she should be embraced!

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