When I look back at the roller coaster of emotions I felt after having my first child, I have to take a deep breath. She was born prematurely and I spent 19 long hours in labor before an emergency c-section. To say I was exhausted was an understatement. I was overwhelmed, yet very excited that my little bundle of joy had arrived but I felt no happiness.
The next day
On Day two when all of the visitors showed up, I wanted the baby to myself. I was tired, sad, and had no clue I was suffering from post partum depression.
My spouse, family and nurses all attributed my sadness and constant crying to the "baby blues". A nurse described them to me as sadness from the overwhelming experience of childbirth, hormones, nursing etc. So I told myself I would be ok and that I just needed to go home.
Home
When you are suffering from undiagnosed post partum depression, being home alone is one of the worst places you could be. After all the family/friends leave and your spouse has gone back to work, you are left to deal with your new baby and emotions. Coupled with sleepless nights, hours long nursing sessions and no time to yourself, your emotions are running high. You do not want to hurt your baby or yourself so you wonder what to do.
The checkup
When I went in for my 6 week checkup I finally admitted to feeling as if I had post partum depression. I had tried for weeks to take it easy, let others help me, eat healthy foods, drink tons of water, take walks and ignore my constant feelings of sadness, but that was not enough. My mind needed help and I could not fix it on my own.
Treatment
My doctor recommended a safe for nursing antidepressant, made sure I was otherwise healthy and sent me on my way. In my mind I knew I could not just take an antidepressant but that I needed some form of therapy. Since I could not afford counseling, I joined a mommy and me group to be around other women who were dealing with young babies just like I was. Just knowing someone else out there feels your pain and emotions is very comforting. And those moms definitely felt my pain
On the mend
I still made sure to eat healthy, take long walks, and take care of myself along with the antidepressants. Healing my post partum depression was very crucial to me getting my life back and being able to give the best care to my child. If her mom was not healthy, then she did not have a good chance of being healthy either. All it takes is a little courage to let a loved one or doctor know that you do not feel ok. They are there to help you and make sure you can give the best care to your child. Your child is worth admitting that you can not do it alone and need help. All it takes is one step.
The next day
On Day two when all of the visitors showed up, I wanted the baby to myself. I was tired, sad, and had no clue I was suffering from post partum depression.
My spouse, family and nurses all attributed my sadness and constant crying to the "baby blues". A nurse described them to me as sadness from the overwhelming experience of childbirth, hormones, nursing etc. So I told myself I would be ok and that I just needed to go home.
Home
When you are suffering from undiagnosed post partum depression, being home alone is one of the worst places you could be. After all the family/friends leave and your spouse has gone back to work, you are left to deal with your new baby and emotions. Coupled with sleepless nights, hours long nursing sessions and no time to yourself, your emotions are running high. You do not want to hurt your baby or yourself so you wonder what to do.
The checkup
When I went in for my 6 week checkup I finally admitted to feeling as if I had post partum depression. I had tried for weeks to take it easy, let others help me, eat healthy foods, drink tons of water, take walks and ignore my constant feelings of sadness, but that was not enough. My mind needed help and I could not fix it on my own.
Treatment
My doctor recommended a safe for nursing antidepressant, made sure I was otherwise healthy and sent me on my way. In my mind I knew I could not just take an antidepressant but that I needed some form of therapy. Since I could not afford counseling, I joined a mommy and me group to be around other women who were dealing with young babies just like I was. Just knowing someone else out there feels your pain and emotions is very comforting. And those moms definitely felt my pain
On the mend
I still made sure to eat healthy, take long walks, and take care of myself along with the antidepressants. Healing my post partum depression was very crucial to me getting my life back and being able to give the best care to my child. If her mom was not healthy, then she did not have a good chance of being healthy either. All it takes is a little courage to let a loved one or doctor know that you do not feel ok. They are there to help you and make sure you can give the best care to your child. Your child is worth admitting that you can not do it alone and need help. All it takes is one step.
